New Book Asks What Happens When We Walk By?

Photo: Giles Clasen

By Robert Davis

Most people understand that homelessness occurs when people lose their homes. A new book takes the idea a step further by exploring the role that social connections play in creating and sustaining cases of homelessness.

Kevin Adler

The book is called “When We Walk By: Forgotten Humanity, Broken Systems, and the Role We Can Each Play in Ending Homelessness in America” and is set to be released by North Atlantic Books on November 7. It was written by Kevin Adler, the CEO of Miracle Messages, a nonprofit in California that helps the unhoused reconnect with family and loved ones, and Donald Burns, a nonprofit executive who helped found the Burns Institute for Poverty Research and the Colorado Center on Law and Policy.

In the book, Adler and Burns explain that social connections may be the only thing preventing millions of Americans from becoming homeless each year. They also highlight personal testimonies about the social and psychological toll of homelessness. Adler said these stories were included to illustrate the shared humanity between people with homes and those without.

“When We Walk By” is being published at a time when homelessness is increasing across the United States. Last year, there were more than 582,000 who were identified as homeless by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development’s one-night count. That total is expected to increase in 2023 as cities from Los Angeles to New York have reported increasing cases of homelessness, especially among the elderly and families with children.

Denver VOICE spoke with Adler about the book and what he hopes readers will take away from it. This interview has been lightly edited for space and clarity.

DV: First, we need to know why you decided to write this book and why its message is relevant now.

Adler: These are some of the stories that have transformed my understanding of homelessness, but you wouldn’t really get a sense of their depth from a social media post or a one-off news article. So, I spent some time contextualizing those stories in the broader thesis of what’s happened in homelessness and share them with others because I think they could transform hearts and minds on this issue.

At the same time, my co-author and I believe the way we talk about homelessness fundamentally diminishes the personal aspect. Homelessness is a housing problem, but it isn’t just a housing problem. It’s also a problem in our shared humanity and we’ve come to see our neighbors experiencing homelessness as problems to be solved and not as human beings.

DV: One passage of the book that really stood out to me is “As humans, we need more than a physical home: we need a social home as well.” What impact do social relationships have on poverty and homelessness?

Adler: They have a tremendous impact, not only on poverty and homelessness but also on people who are stably housed. We rely on our relationships, our community, our social capital all the time. About half of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, and 40% of people don’t have $400 to cover an emergency expense. It begs the question why don’t we have tens of millions of people sleeping on the street each night? It’s because of our relationships.

In the Bay area, we found that one out of every three homeless people we spoke with attributed some form of relational brokenness as their primary cause of becoming homeless. Some examples were divorce, separation because of domestic violence, or the death of a loved one. There was one individual who said, “I never realized I was homeless when I lost my house, only when I lost my family and friends.”

DV: That thought seems to push back against the traditional homeless services relationship, which is often transactional and paternalistic. How can homeless service providers better care for the psychological and social well-being of people experiencing homelessness?

Adler: Right now, the homeless services sector is top-down and one-size-fits-all oriented. Instead, it should have a bottom-up orientation, one that promotes human-to-human interaction instead of checking boxes for compliance. Imagine if one of your loved ones needed the services, how would you want them to be treated? It would take a total transformation of human services into humane services. It may take more time, energy, and resources but the best solutions emerge when we ask people what they need and listen to their response.

DV: You also mention in the book that homeless service nonprofits can exacerbate the negative stereotypes of homelessness. Can you give us an example, and explain how this impacts the ability of these organizations to provide services?

Adler: There’s a narrative that homeless people are “not one of the good ones,” and the media is part of the reason for that. There’s an example in the book of a homeless man who was accidentally given an engagement ring while he was begging for change. He found it in his cup, kept it, and then returned it to the owner the next day when she came back to look for it. The lady created a crowdfunding campaign that went viral, and it was a really touching story. It also illustrates that society expects homeless people to be selfish or criminal.

Homeless services play into that narrative around the holidays by trying to find a compelling story to share. In effect, what these campaigns do is define who is worthy of receiving help instead of asking the broader question about why there are so many people experiencing homelessness in America. We must push back against those narratives that paint the homeless as outsiders. I think there are better angels in our nature, that we are not exercising right now.

DV: Let’s say that you’ve been given a magic wand that you can use to solve homelessness. Where would you start, the interpersonal relationships or the systemic issues surrounding access to housing and services?

Adler: The answer is both. Solving homelessness requires us to step outside of our comfort zone and build a relationship with someone who is experiencing homelessness. We also need to address the social identity we’ve given homeless people and the language used to describe homelessness. All those issues can be addressed if we work to rebuild relationships with our homeless neighbors.

There’s also work to do at the systems level. Our criminal justice system costs taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars per year to enforce laws that criminalize homelessness. By tackling the systems in a thoughtful way, we’ll be better equipped to rebuild relationships with the homeless and get to know each other more as neighbors.